Polar Opposites
by Poecilotheria
Summary: A big dumb bat nearly freezes to death on a mountain. Or, the consequences of staving off hypothermia by sharing body heat. (Gijinka Verse) (Lots of Meta/Dedede)


The fresh powdery snow softly crunched beneath the men's boots. It was a rare period of winter weather for Dreamland, and only one of the two was at all enthused. Meta shivered despite his thick winter coat and fur lined boots. He wasn't a fan of the cold.

"Just a bit further now" Dedede chirped. The larger man was seemingly unaffected by the biting wind, cheerily kicking diamond like snow into clouds around him. Meta was regretting his decision to accompany him. Escargon had fallen ill before a planned outing, and the king had approached him to take his place. He cursed the odd sense of affection that compelled him to accept, and he also cursed the weather, his inadequate coat, whatever sick deity was tormenting him… "You all right there?" Meta started at the king's voice.

"I'm fine" he said, pushing his internal torment to the back of his mind. He slid his frigid hands into his pockets, and looked at Dedede. "What is so fascinating to you about this mountain?"

"Ptarmigan. I figure they'll have their winter plumage 'bout now" he said. Meta tilted his head.

"Ptarmigan… Those are birds, correct?" Meta asked. He wasn't entirely familiar with the fauna of Popstar.

"Yup. Chubby lil things. Brown in the summer, white in the winter. They like high places a lot more than other birds." Meta nodded. The two men slowed to a halt as they came upon the start of the winding trail up the mountain. Meta peered upward. The knight looked like an odd wintery version of himself, having donned ski goggles and a fitted hat in lieu of his helmet and a long thick scarf in place of his cape. Dedede turned to him. "Well, you can take off. I'll meet ya up there." Meta squinted at him.

"I'm not flying in this" he scoffed "The wind up there is too strong, and my wings lose too much heat." Meta started up the trail, noting that the wind increased only a few feet up with no small amount of irritation. Dedede jogged slightly to walk at his side.

"You don't handle the cold too well, do ya" he quipped. Meta looked away, flushing in irritation.

"I can manage" he grumbled. Dedede laughed.

"You ain't happy about it, huh?" he chuckled. Meta scowled, noting the creeping numbness in his fingers and again wondering why he'd agreed to this excursion. He considered the king a good friend, but he loathed the concept of frostbite even more than he cared for him. _Yet you're here_ _ **,**_ a voice in the back of his mind sang gleefully. He stomped it out with just as much glee.

"My fingers have gone entirely numb" he grumbled. There was a rustle of fabric, and something brushed against his arm.

"You can have these then. I don't need em" Dedede said, handing Meta a pair of thickly knit gloves. "Don't feel like carrying em either" he sniggered. Meta quietly took the gloves and slid them on, noting the slight trace of body heat lingering within them. He also noted that the other man was conspicuously shoving his hands in his pockets.

"It is ill advised to go without hand protection" he said. Dedede stiffened, reddening significantly.

"It's an extra pair!" he snapped. Meta shrugged. No use in trying to understand the king's eccentricities.

"Thank you for the gloves" Meta said calmly. Dedede huffed, and strode ahead, doing some sort of odd, prideful strut.

"It's cause I don't need em" he puffed. Meta resisted the urge to point out his contradiction.

"Sure" he deadpanned. The next several hours went by smoothly, the two eventually resuming their normal chatter. The trail was long, but remarkably flat. Unfortunately, it was also entirely bare to the elements. The wind was at a howl now, and the easygoing chatter was beginning to die out. Slate gray clouds began to loom overhead. Meta stopped abruptly.

"We must turn back" he said. Dedede slumped a bit.

"Do we really-"A fierce gust cut him off, flinging snow pellets that stung any exposed skin. "Good idea" he amended, steadying himself. Meta took the lead, goggles offering protection against the snow. But visibility was rapidly plummeting, and he became aware of the sheer drop that he could no longer see.

"Stop!" he shouted over the howling wind. The king bumped into him, nearly bowling him over. Meta began to run a gloved hand against the rock wall carved from the mountain. "Keep your hand on the wall, we can't risk-"he suddenly broke through the thin snow layer and tumbled into a cave like alcove, Dedede following behind. Meta realized the source of the newfound weight on his chest fairly quickly. "Off" he snarled. Dedede rolled off of the smaller man, groaning.

"Yer so damn bony! I wish I landed on the rock!" he moaned. Meta drew himself up to a sitting position.

"This appears to be a suitable shelter" he said. The two scanned their surroundings for a moment. The alcove was set back far enough to evade the raging maelstrom outside. Meta sighed, and began to rummage in his dimensional cape (or scarf). Several items were tossed out.

"What's that for?" Dedede asked, sitting beside Meta. A tattered book and several towels lay in a heap before him.

"Fuel." Meta produced a lighter, emblazoned with his emblem on one side. He attempted to light the book, but his numb fingers refused to cooperate. He mentally screamed at his nerves to comply, before he felt brief warmth.

"I got it" Dedede said, gently grabbing the lighter from Meta's mostly limp fingers. The book was set alight with relative ease. The king worked on using smoldering pages to light the rest of the improvised fuel while Meta desperately tried to regain his dexterity. After the towels finally began to burn, he retrieved his phone from his pocket. He sighed, and tapped Meta. "Gimme yours." He handed it over with the remaining grip he had left. Another sigh.

"No signal?" Meta said. Dedede noted the slight tremor in the other's voice.

"Nope. You sure yer alright there?" he asked. Meta pulled his coat tighter.

"I'll survive. I notified Sword and Blade of our little expedition. Should we not return after a long while, they will form a search party." Dedede nodded, but still appeared nervous.

"Yer shiverin' like crazy" he said.

"One tends to do that when they're cold" Meta snapped.

"Got any coats in yer, uh, portal thingy?"

"No. I hadn't considered such things necessary" he sighed. They sat in silence for a long while; Meta's shivering growing more and more intense. Dedede idly tapped his phone. An hour and a half had passed. An idea crossed his mind, and he almost wished it hadn't.

"We should, uh, share some b-body heat" he stammered. He'd had a pathetic fanboyish mild crush on the other man for a while now, but the idea of actually touching him, even _holding_ him, was in danger of making him totally lose it. Meta looked up at him, and Dedede could see the absolute exhaustion of the man's face even through his goggles. He stared at him for a long while, and Dedede snapped his gaze away, bracing himself for the inevitable tongue lashing. He nearly jumped when he felt a weight press against him.

"If I w-wasn't f-freezing to d-death…" Meta let his threat trail off, not willing to battle with chattering teeth to speak. The other man was warm, but Meta knew it wasn't enough. Even though he weathered the frigid air better, he could tell that Dedede was beginning to fully feel its effects. Several lonely hours passed, and they abandoned all attempts at decorum as the cold bit deeper into their flesh. The king's coat was wrapped around them both, as was Meta's scarf. He jostled the knight, bringing him back to full consciousness.

"Hey! Wake up!" he yelled. Meta shifted slightly, shuddering.

"I'm awake" he slurred, lips having gone numb.

"G-good. Ya can't die here" Dedede muttered. Meta made a pitiable sound resembling laughter.

"I might" he said, his attempt at sarcasm falling on deaf ears.

"You can't" Dedede said firmly.

"Why's that" Meta drawled. His eyelids were drooping lower. Dedede shook him.

"Ya can't leave" he pleaded.

"Don't be so dramatic" Meta muttered "I'm merely tired. Quit disturbing me."

"But I-"

"Here comes more hysterics. Just allow me some rest will you?"

"I really-"

"You are being even more insufferable than usual."

"I-"

"You really think a winter storm could do me in? I'm not some pathetic wilting flow-"

"I love you." Meta froze, but it was thankfully only figurative.

"You what" he said. The other man's mouth hung open, cheeks a blazing red despite the cold. He seemed just as shocked by the statement. They stared at each other for a long moment, and-

"Sir Meta Knight!" Dedede reflexively tossed the hapless man onto the floor as Sword and Blade came rushing in, instantly crowding around him. Bandanna Dee followed, rushing to her king's aid.

"Your majesty! Are you ok? Your cheeks are so red!" she babbled. He tried to stand and wobbled on unfeeling feet as Dee steadied him.

"I'm fine, just some, er, wind burn…" he stammered. Sword and Blade had already hoisted their angry cargo upward and begun to carry him outside. Dee gently guided Dedede to follow.

"The knight's brought a helicopter" Dee said excitedly. Dedede blinked.

"Why do they have a helicopter?" he asked. Dee only shrugged, and guided him outside to the waiting vehicle.

Many hours and one slightly bumpy ride (due to a momentary disagreement on who got to be the pilot) later, Dedede sat in a hospital room watching the clock tick by. He'd quickly recovered after returning to the warm indoors, but the unfortunate knight had been hypothermic and frostbitten. Fortunately, he had returned to his usual self after his temperature had risen to normal, and was currently alternating between griping about the hospital and griping about his knaves.

"I don't recall giving you permission to take the helicopter" Meta growled, resisting the urge to pick at his IV.

"We saved your ass" Blade chuckled.

"It was just gathering dust anyway" Sword added. Meta gave them both a withering glare.

"Then I'm sure you won't object to cleaning it top to bottom then? To clean out the dust?" he asked. The two knights wilted.

"Alright sir…" Sword mumbled.

"Shoulda left your ass on the mountain" Blade snapped. Meta snorted.

"That's your mistake." He glanced at the king sitting silently in the corner. "Just fly the helicopter back and we'll call it even" he said quietly "So get on with it."

"Yes sir!" they said in unison, darting off before the knight changed his mind. He sighed, mentally noting to thank them fully later. Meta latched his eyes onto the remaining person in the room. Dedede felt the hair on his neck raise at the stare.

"W-what?" he squeaked. The other's gaze didn't falter.

"You know what." Dedede flinched. He really should have expected the impending verbal assault. "Come closer" he commanded "I don't wish to shout." Dedede dragged a chair to Meta's bedside, looking for all the world like he was being led to the gallows.

"H-hey there…" he sputtered. Meta only stared at him.

"Where you lying?" he asked. He still appeared guarded, but there was not irritation in his tone.

"Lying?" Dedede asked. Meta tapped a clawed finger against the railing of his stretcher, impatient.

"What you said. Was that true?" there was a marked urgency to his tone. He looked so vulnerable without his usual helmet and armor, clad only in a hospital gown and wrapped up in the thin linen blankets.

"Oh. That." The king turned an impressive shade of red, and scratched at his chin nervously. "Uh… yeah" he mumbled.

"It was truthful?" Meta urged.

"Yeah" his voice was almost a whisper now.

"Huh." Meta sat silent for a moment, though it seemed an eternity. "I suppose you want my input?" Dedede nodded, suddenly finding the linoleum floor fascinating. "Lean closer then, will you? My vocal chords are still rather frozen."

"S-sure" he said, leaning closer to the other man. He nearly shrieked in shock when he felt lips brush against his own. He fell from his chair, flailing about wildly.

"Well, I assumed an unambiguous response would be preferable but apparently I've broken you" Meta snickered, a manic, nervous energy coursing through him. The king's head popped up and rested on the bed, dazed.

"You're gonna give me a heart attack" he wheezed. Meta laughed again, the sound genuine and warm. He rested a hand over his burning face, though Dedede could still see his ears turning scarlet.

"At least I didn't throw you about" Meta chuckled. Dedede put his hands up in defense.

"Hey! I was startled!" he snapped "and I kept you from freezing!" Meta grabbed one of the outstretched hands, gently grasping it.

"You did, didn't you" he said, pulling him closer. The second kiss was far longer and more intimate. Meta was inclined to believe that this was a far more enjoyable situation in which to share body heat. He curled a hand around the king's head, and-

"Whatcha doin' Meta?" The two very nearly bashed their heads together as they rapidly pulled away from one another.

"Kirby!" Meta shrieked. Fumu stood in the doorway making exaggerated gagging faces as the young child scampered over. The knight looked like he was trying to sink into the bed. She followed Kirby. Meta locked eyes briefly with Dedede and nodded. The king fled the room under Fumu's judgmental gaze. She turned to Meta.

"Really?" she said. Meta groaned. He did not need his romantic choices to be insulted by a teenager. Kirby looked at Meta thoughtfully.

"Two dads" he declared. Meta flew into a sudden coughing fit.

Elsewhere in the hospital, Dedede stood fidgeting in a mostly empty hallway, save for the occasional staff members who gave him funny looks. It was pretty pathetic for him to hide from a teenaged girl, but Fumu was seriously frightening at times. He also didn't feel like being judged by somebody less than half his age. His phone buzzed, and he quickly snatched it.

" _Meet me in my quarters at 2100 sharp -MK"_ read the text. He wondered if MK was his preferred nickname. He'd have to ask, he enjoyed the thought of having a nickname for Meta. After he found someone who could translate military time, of course.

( **Author's note:** This pairing is pretty underrated, and is probably my favorite. I pretty much like any pairing though, aside from pedophilic or incestual ones. The only real inspiration for this was the fact that bats don't like the cold. Thanks for reading and have a good one! -Poecilotheria)


End file.
